Lyrics by Jackson Dawes

Woke up this mornin', sun shinin' in my face Dragging the dog along at a leisurely pace Reached for my coffee, and a thought crossed my mind hitting a dispose a bowl surely would be kind But then I remembered, the last time I got high I tried to join the circus as a human butterfly I took five thousand dollars and put it on the Knicks Hired some day laborers to show them my card tricks Another time, I thought I was Ginger Lynn Showered with a Brillo pad and scratched up all my skin Found myself asleep in the local produce section Found a random Korean guy and gave him an erection Ate a kitchen sponge, jumped off the garage roof Painted my car purple, actually told people the truth Tried to have sex with some stuffed animals Tried to bet again after the Knicks lost to the Bulls My friends all laugh, they say I crack them up When they convince me to drink urine out of a cup I gave myself a haircut with a pair of garden shears Posted nude pics of my mom and had her yelling in my ears But then I remembered, the last time I got high Launched my cat off the roof because I thought that she could fly I took fifty thousand dollars and put it on the Knicks Hired some day laborers to show them my card tricks I can't handle my weed, it's better I don't smoke Reality is weird enough for me, everything's a joke La la la la la la la, la la la la la la... Where the hell was I going with this?