Lyrics by Sarah Herrera

i can molest you because it is my freedom of speech
i can steal from you because my lawyer is going to help me
i killed my monkey because i spanked it to death.
i like paying taxes because i like living in a cardboard box

i am a criminal and if you resist my lawyer and i will sue you
i am above the law because i have money under the table
i am not a homosexual because i don’t inhale when i suck
i drink and drive because i want to be a giant pinball going down the road.

it is all your fault that i raped you because i don't believe in god
i steal from other people because they owe it to me
it is my legal loophole right to molest you because my lawyer is three lawyers
I like paying taxes so they can find out why the sky is not blue

i can steal what i want and get away with it because my lawyer says i am sick
i can get away with murder because i am a politician
i am not a homosexual because i am only a faggot
I'm not high, I'm just weird