lyrics by Jackson Dawes

In February of 2014, I played in the New Jersey State Amateur Chess Tournament.

I hadn't played in a long time, just went there cold.

It was a multi-day tournament, so I got a hotel room

There were maybe 250 players there

I won the first five games that I played, against highly ranked opponents

I was unranked, having not played in a tournament in years

By the time I sat down the sixth game

there was a legitimate shot of me placing in the tournament

probably not an outright championship

but certainly top 5

And then I played the sixth game.

Chess is not age bracketed, so you can end up playing against a 12-year old

it's not uncommon. And I drew a kid for my final match

He likely anticipated placing in the tournament too

he had probably won all his games, which is why I drew him

they tend to match undefeated against undefeated in the finals.

We drew for the pieces, and he got white

He pushed the king's pawn E2 to E4, pretty standard

And I decided to try the Blackburne Shilling Gambit

which was fairly popular in the 1850s a chance you'll lose.

And losing in 7 moves in a tournament can be humiliating.

The kid burst into tears. He wouldn't shake hands with me

He got up from the table and ran out of the room

After a few minutes, I went out to the lobby

where he was sitting on the floor and sobbing

I wanted to tell him that it was just one game

I wanted to tell him that he was a good player and these things happen

I wanted to offer him an unofficial rematch

right there in the hallway

I sat down on the floor next to him

And his mother laid into me

Her final shouted words in heavily accented English

were "Haven't you done enough?"

I skipped the awards ceremony

I got on the Garden State and drove home

That was over 10 years ago

I haven't touched a chess piece since.